Thursday, July 08, 2010
episode: -> hurt + humiliated. <-
i have had enough.
i never thought this would ever happen to me.
i am normally the one getting terminated (as a tutor).
due to various reasons (graduation, unable to control and discipline kid, .. etc etc.).
i am on the verge of terminating my tuition student(s) now.
i have four tuition students under my "wings" at the moment.
(my busiest period can have up to six tuition kids)
but i came to realise today that, as much as i would love to deny, one of my tuition kid is very rude.
she has serious attitude problem, and expects (almost) everything to revolve around her, and only her.
she was alright at first.
her Additional Mathematics on Geometrical Proofs was in a mess.
she doesn't know how to do almost all the questions.
it is not she doesn't understand the proofs and theorems.
but because she doesn't know how to apply them.
anyways, she texted me "SOS".
i came for tuition, arriving early by fifteen minutes too.
she was still alright then.
she tried doing the questions again.
she found herself stuck.
she doesn't know how to do.
that is when her seriously bad attitude began to show.
she listened and wrote down whatever that i taught her after solving the question(s) initially.
she stopped doing and trying the questions altogether abruptly.
she started pacing around, doing other irrelevant stuff (eg. iphone), and stoning.
when i asked her, "why you seem so sians? why aren't you trying the questions?"
she replied in a rude and exasperated tone, "I DUNNO HOW TO DO LA!"
eventually after awhile, i gave up asking her, and encouraged her instead, doing the questions myself in the meantime.
she doesn't even seem interested in listening in my explanations for solving the questions after sometime.
she completely ignored and spaced out.
her attitude became real bad.
careless errors that i made, she questioned in doubt.
that was still alright.
it was after all my fault.
but.
she complained after awhile, "my test is TOMORROW, and i don't even know how to do the questions!"
i understand her desperation.
i mean, who doesn't want to be prepared, and excel in their tests and examinations?
but but but, she only asked me to teach and explain Geometrical Proofs to her late last week to early this week.
PROOFS leh.
not easy to solve and prove leh.
let alone teach!
there is NO systematic approach to a proving question!
because every question is simply different in their own ways!
(there is a reason why they don't mind providing you with a formulae list)
you simply practise, practise, and more practise!
how to teach you, feed you, and ensure you score an "A" tomorrow, if you ask me for help this late?!
why didn't you make use of your time well in the four-weeks June holidays to ask me during tuitions?!
i didn't even see you that much as i expected (when you said you want to PIA hard hard).
she continued her rant rudely, "sec3 i no tuition, i get A1. after i got tuition, i get B3. now tuition with you, i get C6. tuitions aren't helping my results at all, and is instead making my results worse!"
it is the first time i heard a student pointing fingers at the tutor for causing her academic results to drop.
i mean HUH.
shouldn't you be reflecting on yourself first?
what if you didn't have any tuition, maybe you would have dropped further to an E8 or F9?
and of course, you may say, you are too intelligent for that kind of sh!tty results.
when her test results come back good good.
she said it is no thanks to me, but due to all her efforts.
when her examination results come back bad bad.
it became all my fault, not because she didn't put in enough effort to make it good good.
i don't understand.
i couldn't blame anyone, except myself, when my A' levels Physics managed only a "B".
(i had Physics tuition then)
she even brought her poor friend into the picture, "maybe friend (also my tuition kid) thinks you are good. because her results from E8 dragged up to D7. but my results dropped from B3 to C6!"
i am deeply hurt by her words.
i have taught her for EIGHT freaking months, and she is now saying i DE-proved her results instead.
throughout the whole ordeal, i was deeply hurt, but understanding her exasperation, i didn't tell her off.
i encouraged her on the otherhand, that O' levels would be better.
she simply brushed off rudely, "whatever."
ending tuition and leaving her place, i tried arranging the next tuition.
she said in an ugly tone, "dunno la. see the test how tomorrow."
i felt very down and useless.
i almost broke down, but didn't, tears simply threatened to roll down my cheeks.
i didn't cared that i strolled to the bus stop so slowly that i missed two consecutive buses 30.
i messaged her poor E8->D7 "friend" she spoke about.
i told her to add oil to her test tomorrow, considering that i barely had any time to help her for the Geometrical Proofs chapter.
i also told her to add oil for her piano grading examination tomorrow.
then i told her that her attitude problem "friend" is upset with me.
i told her reasons, and hope that at the end of the day, the attitude problem "friend" can don't understand me, but maybe she would understand.
she never reply.
i texted the problematic attitude gurl after awhile that we didn't have much time concentrating on Geometrical Proofs chapter.
we would need to keep on practising similar questions to get ourselves familiarised.
i also texted that i am serious in trying to help as much as possible, because we are in this together, thus we need to jiayous and work hard together.
i then concluded by saying that i would start revision once all chapters are taught and covered by the school.
she replied, again, in a whatever-tone, "anything."
i stopped sms-ing her then.
but.
she messaged me instead.
she asked that she doesn't understand why i need to take so long to do and solve questions.
she also remarked that her results are dropping because tuitions are getting less productive.
she pointed out that i only managed to solve FOUR questions in TWO hours.
(i dunno which tuition day she is implying, if it is regarding today, i did at least
EIGHT questions)
she doesn't understand why am i leaving at such an important point in her life.
she doesn't know if her route towards O' levels is correct.
namely, probably she doesn't know what to do.
lastly, she commented (i feel that is beyond rude) that her mummy also doesn't agree with my rate for an university graduate.
i replied to explain myself that different questions would take different amounts of time to solve.
some questions i solved very fast, but some i would need longer periods of time.
especially for Trigonometry Identities and Geometrical Proofs-related types of questions.
because it is completely non-template based, NO systematic approach, and basically plainly application questions.
i said i didn't take half an hour for every question she posed to me.
(sure, some questions i got stuck, and i would bring home to solve instead)
that would be downright really very UN-productive.
but that clearly isn't the case at all.
i proposed that since this is a waste of time to her.
she can dump me all her questions at one go then.
i would bring all the questions home to solve, and teach her the solutions in the next tuition.
thus would be able to save her time and money by doing other more productive stuff in the meantime.
i also answered myself for choosing to leave at such a critical point of her life at this time.
(it is only for a month anyways, but i would be missing most of her preliminary examinations by the time i am back)
i am graduating.
it is either graduation trip now, or never.
because after this trip, i would have to get myself a proper job in the society.
which is why i have hoped to be able to squeeze in as many tuitions as possible this month, before i fly off.
i told her that the rate is the same as her poor E8->F9 "friend".
since she is introduced to me by her E8->F9 "friend".
i went on to state that university graduates have the potential to become MOE teachers, including myself.
and she should know that MOE teachers charge at an extremely high rate.
(since her other tutors are junior college teachers, charging at S$90/hour and S$120/hour)
i didn't charge that much anyways, not even half.
lastly, i told her again to stay positive, and stop dwelling in negativity.
i am here to help her, because we are in this together, and i am standing by her side.
she simply replied, " do you charge all your other students the same rate?"
i dunno what is her issue or problem here.
i am so NOT worth the money or rate, despite teaching her for eight stupid months already, that she hopes to lower the rate?
she rather spends MORE money on engaging a MOE junior college teacher, because he or she then is WORTH the higher amount of money or rate?
i don't get her anymore.
she is mad.
i merely replied, "all same rate. depends on levels. used to have primary and lower secondary. charges lower rate."
she stopped replying.
i am sick and tired of her attitude.
she can replace me and terminate me for all i care.
because i am heading to seek full-time employment now.
i no longer require this part-time tutor job.
when i was still worrying over their O' levels, and feeling responsible for them, decided to take them to November when they would officially graduate.
some people are just NOT worth it.
i am only human.
i also need time to think, understand, and solve Mathematics.
tutor does NOT make a Mathematics genius.
i dunno what she wants, or expects.
i am terminating my tuitions (and responsibility) with her.
unless her attitude changes for the better.
i would need to speak to the mother.
(like mother, like daughter?)
but i highly doubt so anyways.
termination seems more like a plausible choice.
this would probably mean the end of my "career" as a teacher/tutor.
this further affirms my decision NOT to join a teaching career with the MOE.
~ Beautiful Season ~