Thursday, February 18, 2010
episode: -> 肝(心)肠寸断. <-
i had a good long chat with a few friends.
some are extremely caring and concerned.
i seriously appreciated that.
thanks loads. (:
it doesn't mean i felt any better.
i am still sad.
in fact, i am
extremely sad.
i am so sad, my tears kept welling up.
i know this is all in vain.
i also know this is the passing phrase.
i just had to endure through this heartbreak.
and i will realise this is only another invaluable life lesson learnt again.
i learnt not to trust people so easily.(i hope this time i really learnt)
i learnt not to be so honest and truthful anymore.(selective truthfulness is the only way to survive)
i learnt that friends who have never meet or know you all their lives, CAN say horrible things about you in front of your potential beau.(it is as good as a prophet; they are the PROs)
i learnt that no amount of "LOVE"y-dopey words can replace actual actions done to PROVE their neverending strength of love for you.(NEVER trust a guy just because he says "he loves you so so so so much that he wants to marry you", and you stupidly believed)
i learnt that i need to be alot more firm, and i definitely need to be more demanding(being too nice, too soft, or too good, is NOT what a guy wants; he is NEVER going to be satisfied)
i learnt that i need to make sure his great grand LOVE story(ies) of he and his ex(es) is(are) a sure thingy of the past, and that he is NOT remembering the good of his ex(es).(demand that he and her(them) end ALL sort of contact; magnanimous and understanding NEVER pay; he can easily compare you (present) to her(them) (past), because they are forever imprinted as a wonderful memory in him)
i will and must survive through this period.
it hurts so bad that i felt like i am dead through and through.
BUT.
i badly need to clarify certain issues with him.
you can call it a proper closure, maybe.
or not, i am never going to be able to sleep in peace.
judging by his face, pride, and ego.
and of course, his heartlessness (绝).
(i don't see him so 绝 with his ex; maybe only i deserve this kind of treatment)
it is going to be difficult.
BUT.
no assumption.
no try = don't know.
doesn't give face = 够绝 = shows how much he really loves me.
~ Beautiful Season ~