Sunday, July 17, 2011
episode: -> HideUP. <-
i had a terrible day today.
i decided to be firm, and exert a pressure on
him, for
him to meet me, or i meet
his parents.
i seriously don't feel good at all doing all these sh!t.
but i realised that i really don't have much of a choice.
it's either confront directly, or wait and wait until
he flies.. far far away~
he has been avoiding meeting me in person, or any possible form of confrontation, i guess.
all forms of communication were only through a few sms-es and calls.
if i go to
his house uninformed to forcefully meet
him,
he would be angry, since
he is uninformed.
if i go to
his house informed, but
he refused, yet i still go,
he said it would be a breach of trust.
if i call
him, it would go unanswered, and no call would be returned.
if i sms
him, it would go unreplied, at most, read and ignored.
i feel trapped.
trapped in a corner with no other alternative routes to take.
he knows i would never want to hurt, anger, disappoint, or make matters worse..
.. because i was still hoping to mend back our misunderstood-broken-up relationship.
he used reasons and logic to dictate our love and relationship.
he said we must face up to reality, that we are very incompatible.
he used to be very kind and understanding, but see things i do in a very different and negative light now.
he has changed.
- selfish and irresponsible
- lying / twisting facts and truths (to his parents)
- breaking promises (only hold true when things are good, but don't hold true when things are bad)
i thought of marriage vows.. are they also this fragile too..?
aren't they also promises..?
except that it is on a binding piece of contract.
my old "Pan Zhengqi" is dead.
my love is dead.
and for that, i am very, very sad.~ Beautiful Season ~